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Grind is in the eye of the beholder (Destiny)

by Cody Miller @, Music of the Spheres - Never Forgot, Monday, July 01, 2019, 00:35 (1991 days ago) @ Claude Errera

It's as if a person says they don't like salt--a chef might want to drill down into that, suggest that the value of salt might not be casually dismissed--I mean, have you ever had salted chocolate?


This is the sort of argument that really, really bothers me. (Not salt, per se - but "you're missing out on X".) I hate mushrooms. I've almost always hated mushrooms. The only exceptions to this rule, in almost 50 years of consciously hating mushrooms (I started in grade school), are mushrooms that have no taste - the only ones I can think of are the long, stringy ones in hot and sour soup (they might have a mild taste, but it's completely buried by the spice of the soup, and all that's left is the texture, which doesn't bother me).

This completely consistent disgust is nevertheless second-guessed by every mushroom lover I've ever met. "Oh, you just haven't tried the right ones." "Oh, you just haven't had them prepared properly." "Oh, you're missing the glorious foods you can create with them."

No. No, no, and no. You're all wrong, and I'm tired of having to say it. I know me better than you know me, and I'd really appreciate it if you'd just stop trying to get me to change my mind on something that is this deeply set in stone. I don't like them, any of them, I can taste them in the foods you think you're hiding them in, and you're ruining those foods for me. ("I didn't think you'd notice.") Yes, they have a smell (even the button ones), and yes, that smell ruins my appetite. Period.

Do NOT tell me I can't "casually dismiss" them - I'm not. It's a long-term, highly-thought-out dismissal, and I'd thank you to not insult me by assuming otherwise.

I'm not saying this is the case for you, but what if someone disliked something because of a character flaw? What if someone likes say, grinding in a video game because they are lazy? Grinding isn't HARD after all, it just takes time. You don't really have to grow or learn or change to succeed; you just have to show up so to speak, and you are rewarded.

Would it not be appropriate in this scenario to suggest that the reason they like grinding - that it provides a reward and a sense of accomplishment without actually having to accomplish something, is itself a flaw? That it's not a good trait for them to have?

What if you dislike Star Wars because you are uncomfortable with a woman in a position of power over a male hero? Do you say okay? Or do you tell them not to be sexist?


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