How’s life? (DBO)

by Kermit , Raleigh, NC, Monday, October 17, 2022, 16:36 (566 days ago) @ INSANEdrive

IMHO, Morpheus, I wouldn't expect mainstream dating sites to address your loneliness. Right now you've got some obvious deficits as compared to healthy people, and those sites are literally comparison engines. It's not that people are necessarily mean or superficial; it's just harder to break through in that context. I applaud your effort to connect (it's something we all need), and I recognize you've got some obstacles that might keep you from being out in the world, but speaking as someone who also has obvious deficits compared to "normals," real life is probably the best context to show others what makes you a person who is fun to be with. Just a reading.

A few more thoughts: is there a support group you can join? Is there some group activity you can participate in where you can meet new people (and they can see and hear you)?

I'm struggling with weight right now, too. (The lockdown was bad for me.) The stakes aren't as high as yours, but it's a similar dynamic. In my struggle I keep realizing how much of a mental game it is. I keep thinking there's gotta be a way to lose the weight and still eat the crap I like (for me, it's chocolate). Unfortunately, I don't think there is. I keep thinking I can have such and such in the house, and I'll have it only occasionally. I know what to do, after all. Unfortunately, knowing isn't enough. I cheat because I make it easy to cheat. I'm talking to us both now: find a specific goal that motivates you. Realize you're going to have to give up [thing you love] for a while in the service of that goal (the timeframe should be specific--e.g., I'll eat whatever I want on Thanksgiving). Make it hard to access the [thing you love] that isn't helping you get to that goal. These are just words. Typing is easy. What we're trying to do isn't that easy, but it's doable. Good luck, and keep me posted.