Guardian News Headline: Santa and His Reindeer Dead. Killed by Traveller.

December 25th (Year Post Golden Age)

Santa and his Sleigh were shot down the Traveller's automated defenses last night as the deceased was making his Holiday rounds in the Last City. Eyewitness report that Santa Claus was attempting to find a chimney on the Traveller to gain access when he was shot from the sky. The Traveller (Age 37) had this to say:
"YO MAN! I was just Standin' my Ground! He was Tresspassin' on my Property...I know my rights! and the right to bear auto mated defense turrets is CLEARLY expressed in the space constitution."

Incidentally these are the first words spoken by the traveller since it's final stand against the Aliens that tried to kill us at the end of the Golden Age. Guardians have tried to take the Traveller into custody but have so far been unable to connect to Xbox Live Party and thus been unable to coordinate an attack.

Leaders of the various alien races and acquaintances of Santa have said this about dear St. Nick.

"To hell with that fat bitch! He gave me a lump of Coal! I wish I had been the one to do it! I would have ripped his scrawny two arms out of their sockets with my obviously superior four arms" - Fallen Supreme Commander of Genocidal Forces and Public Relations

"He gave me a can of motor oil last year. I'll never forget that." -Cabal President of Mars

"ARGRGRGRGRGRGGRGRGRGRHRHIWBWXVCVSVVQVXUANVNIRVDLHUFDBCWUIBEWBV" -Hive Hive Mind

"10100010001111001010101110101...2" -Vex Chief Robot

"JESUS WAS WHITE! SANTA WAS WHITE!"- Space Megyn Kelly

We reached out to the EXO for comment. They sent us a severed finger. Not sure what that means.

As this is a breaking news story we will keep you updated. For now lets tip our Santa Hats in memory of that amazing man that somehow had flying Reindeer and decided not to share that technology with us.

Xenos walked into his hideout dragging a dark shape behind him. As he walked in the red lights on 3 Vex heads lit up, and after a beat, another 3 lit up in green. The heads hung by their frayed circuits from the ceiling. Xenos placed the fir tree in the corner and hung his red stocking cap on the wall of the low ceilinged, half collapsed room. After starting a fire in the makeshift brick fireplace on the far wall he sat on an old paisley couch and took out a faded photograph of a brightly Holiday-decorated living room. Xenos scanned the room admiring his work, a stretched out sock with a crudely stitched 'X' hung above the fireplace, a Nativity carved out of concrete sat on the mantle. He'd already been collecting Vex heads, it was just a matter of painting some of their lights green. All he needed now was some ornaments for the tree. found a silver star to hang from the top branch from an old vehicle, and figured he could use spare grenades for the orbs, but wasn't sure where to find the silvery string that hung from all the branches. Unable to think of anything he settled that chains would have to do. Knowing the Bridge of Chains is usually guarded by the Cabal, he grabbed rocket launcher. As he placed his red stocking cap back on his head, he strolled out into the silent snowy night, humming a tune to himself.

Dupree: Hey! Traveler's shields just lit up.
Better than I expected. Splat, then fry.
Was awesome.

McNamara: I was just calling to ask about that. We're looking at the radar cross-section of the target, and it's kind of small. Is anyone out there using drones?

Dupree: What size?

McNamara: Little bigger than a man.

Dupree: Sounds like a cruise missile to me.

McNamara: Cruise missiles don't fly in formation.

Dupree: Oh. How many are we talking about?

McNamara: Eight of them, double file. Followed by another target, the size of a family van.

Dupree: You're shitting me.

McNamara: I wish.

Dupree: This is a disaster!

McNamara: The Traveler's an alien construct. It couldn't have known.

Dupree: Yeah? Is that going to fly with your kids?

McNamara: No.
Poor sap. Probably thought he had it easy.
No more having to jaunt to every planet in the solar system this year.
Just one city and a couple of settlements.
You there?

Dupree: Yeah. I checked out the crash site on a hunch. Found the old guy under a fur-lined parachute.
Either he's really immortal, or his reflexes are just that good.

McNamara: Is he alright?

Dupree: He's kneeling on the ground, clutching a mittenfull of ash, and wailing about Dasher and Dancer and Donner and Vixen.
I'd say that we've made his naughty list.
Huh... I think he found Rudolf's nose.
Nope. Cluster munition bomblet. Definitely a lot of unexploded ordnance around here.
Yup. He's immortal. And pissed.

McNamara: Keep that up, and the other side is going to find detailed maps of our defenses under their trees.
I'm calling around, seeing if we can give him a ride back home.
Also sending some guys out with hot chocolate and cookies.

Dupree: Hurry up. I'm beginning to wonder how immortal he really is.
I never did get that pony for Christmas...

I didn't find bryan's to be all that funny, and I'm somewhat experienced with the subject, so I thought I'd give it a go.

An Europan Christmas

“Crap, what a shithole.”
“That’s not a nice thing to say.”
“I want snow, I’ll go to the poles. I want alien worlds, I’ll go to Venus or Mars. I want the ruins of human civilization, I’ll go frickin’ anywhere. Nowhere in that job description does it say I have to visit Europa.”
“Maybe you should have read the fine print.”
Behind his helmet, Hal scowled. Not that Artemis could see it. But she’d known the man long enough to know when he was frowning. Or smiling. Or doing anything that a non-member of Fireteam Jackal would have no clue towards.
“Allahu akbar,” Magus whispered, coming to the starship’s cockpit. “Europa. It lies before us.”
“No shit,” Hal said, turning away and heading for the back. “I’m sure your god is pleased at your praise.”
“Regardless of what one believes, one can still appreciate beauty, yes?” the warlock asked.
“I’d appreciate being back home,” the team’s titan grunted. “Not in the outer planets.”
“And is that because of Alli or Christmas?” the Awoken smirked.
“Both.”
The smirk faded. She knew Hal. And never had she seen him so brutally honest.
“Hal…”
“Forget it,” the team’s leader said, walking to the weapons rack. “Let’s just get the job done.”

Artemis nodded.

Get the job done. As always. Every day. The reason for their existence.

Not even Christmas could change that.

##

Europa. The sixth moon of Jupiter. A relic of the Golden Age. A testament to humanity’s former glory. And after all these centuries, still an ice world.
“Traveller’s arse it’s cold.”
“The Traveller does not have a, er, buttocks.”
“Well if it did I’m sure it would be pointed this way.”
Artemis smiled but hung back as Hal and Magus walked forward, the two discussing how a sphere could have a posterior. Checking her suit’s reader, she saw that the temperature was a balmy 160 degrees Celsius in the negative. Why humanity’s ancestors had even bothered coming here she didn’t know, but they’d at least had the sense to construct their settlements in the moon’s equatorial regions. And peering through the snowstorm, she could see one of those up ahead.
“Tityas,” Magus said, gesturing towards the snow-covered structure. “First city of Europa.”
Hal grunted. The warlock glanced back to the team’s hunter.
“Does the cold faze you?” A ball of flame appeared in his hand. “Is extra warmth needed?”
Artemis shook her head.
“Well, come then,” Magus said, extinguishing the fire. “We’re here by your idea. It is fitting you take lead, no?”
Nodding, Artemis walked out into the cold. The ship’s hatch closed with a loud clunk that cut through the howl of the wind.
“Your sodding idea,” Hal murmured as Artemis walked forward. “I didn’t have to come here.”
“We’re Guardians,” Artemis whispered.
“So why not guard?” the titan snapped. “Why come to the arse end of the universe for relics?”
“It’s our job.” Artemis picked up her pace. “It’s what I joined for.”
“Well I didn’t.”
She kept walking. Magus said something, but his voice was lost in the wind’s howl. And to make sure it stayed that way, she shut her radio off.

She hadn’t wanted it to be this way. She’d wanted the trip to be “it.” The big one. A chance for Fireteam Jackal to get into the spotlight. The Queen of the Reef had directed them to fame and fortune before, so when she’d told them of a treasure on Europa, a treasure within Tityas that was beyond price (though she’d offer the next best thing). She’d put herself forward on Jackal’s behalf to take a trip to the ice moon and investigate the city.
“Artemis!”
Which in hindsight, had been a reckless move on her part. Hal was their team leader. He was obstinate, reckless, and had lost his first command, but he was still their leader, and after serving with him, Artemis could appreciate why. Just as she could appreciate that after a year of hell, of Fallen, cabal and vex, he wanted time with Alli. That he wanted to experience Christmas with his significant other on Earth.
“Artemis!”
She kept walking, ignoring the cries. Christmas. Some old human holiday that had undergone a recent revival.
“Artemis!”
Hal grabbed her by the shoulder. And spun her around.
“Keep your radio on,” the titan growled.
“It is on.”
“Don’t bullshit me,” Hal snapped. “You did that at the Reef, don’t do it here.”
“Hal, I thought-”
“Don’t think,” he snapped. “Don’t lead, don’t question, and don’t think you can make decisions for the rest of the team.”
“Hal, I get it, okay?” Artemis said. “I made a mistake. I took a chance, and you’re missing out on an old human holiday and-”
“And why’d you care about that?” he murmured. “After all, you’re not even human.”
Artemis froze. And Hal kept walking.

The cold didn’t touch her. When Magus put a hand on her shoulder, she didn’t feel it.
“Artemis, I heard what-”
And she didn’t hear him after those words.
Not human.
Hal had asked why he was here. For the first time, she asked why she was here. Why after a year of teamwork, of friendship, of everything else, why she even bothered.
Not human.
“Artemis, you-”
“He’s right,” she whispered. She looked at the warlock. “I’m Awoken. I’m not human.”
“That makes no difference,” he said.
“Doesn’t it?” she asked. “Why? Why am I among the ruins of human civilization? Why did I think I could drag us all here? Why…why…”
Magus hugged her.
Shivering in the cold, Artemis let him.

##

Tityas was like an ancient castle. A castle with a recycled atmosphere and heating system, but a castle nonetheless.
“Magnificent,” Magus said, removing his helmet and putting on his glasses. “Stunning. Incredible.”
Hal took off his helmet also. And following suit, Artemis did as well.
“Built by a madman of course,” Magus said, walking around the entrance hall. “But by God’s grace, spectacular.”
Hal grunted and turned to Artemis. “Where now?”
Artemis blinked. “Pardon?”
“Where now?” the titan repeated. “You brought us here, where’s this treasure?”
Artemis kept silent. Hal – his brown hair a little longer, his greyeyes a little wiser, his pale skin baring more scars, but otherwise still the same Hal she’d met all those years ago.
“Artemis?”
And herself. Wispy white hair. Silver eyes. Lavender skin. The mark of an Awoken. Of a non-human.
“Artemis!”
She shook it off. “The bio-dome,” she whispered. “The treasure’s in there.”
“The bio-dome?” Hal asked. “What kind of treasure is this?”
“No-one knows. Not even the queen.”
“Great,” the titan murmured. “Mystery gift. Boy I love that game.”
Artemis lowered her gaze. More and more this was sounding like a stupid idea. The type of idea a stargazing “non-human” like herself would come up with.
“Alright,” Fireteam Jackal’s leader said. “Magus, you secure the entrance. Artemis, you’re with me.”
“Why?” she asked.
“Because I say so.” Hal looked at his teammates. “Unless there’s any objections?”
Artemis shook her head. Magus remained still.

Taking orders. She’d have to get used to that.

##

“Well, this is it,” Hal said. “The bio-dome. The booty. The pot of gold at the end of the rainbow.”
Artemis followed him, much against her instinct. She wanted to leave. But the bio-dome was keeping her in place.
“Nice place,” Hal said. “If you’re the tree hugger type.”
Artemis told herself she wasn’t. But looking at the trees before her, hugging them didn’t seem like such a bad idea.
“They’re…they’re so big,” she said.
“Course they’re big,” Hal murmured. “Europa’s gravity is one tenth of Earth’s. Taller growth and all that.”
‘Tall’ didn’t do them justice, Artemis thought. Eighty feet tall, all like pine trees, and all of them bearing a type of red fruit. Like decorations on a Christmas tree, she reflected. She’d seen the pictures. All that was missing was a star on top of them.
“And we’ve got fruit,” Hal said, walking over to one of the trees. “Fantastic.”
“Genetically engineered fruit probably,” Artemis said. “I wonder what it-”
Hal shot his pistol. One of the fruits came falling down into his hand.
“Hal, you can’t just-”
The titan popped it into his mouth.
“Eat it.”
The titan kept chewing. “Things must have been growing for centuries,” he said. “Water in the crust…must be some kind of super nutrient in the soil. Heck, no idea about the photosynthesis part.” He swallowed. “Gotta hand it to the Europans, they had some nifty long term plans.”
Artemis collapsed down against one of the trees. She drew out her own pistol and contemplated using it. On the trees. Or on herself.
“So,” Hal said. “We travel four astronomical units to Jupiter, land on this icehole, and find…fruit.” He took another bite. “Fruit that isn’t half bad actually.”
Artemis laughed. Or sobbed. Her mind was reeling so much that she wasn’t sure which.
“Artemis?”
“Fruit…” she whispered. “Frickin’ fruit.”
“Y’know, if we lugged this onto the ship, and if we could replicate the formula on Earth…well, I think there’d be a few customers in the Last City who’d pay a pretty bit of glimmer for it. Course the Reef Queen will want her share, but eh, what else is new?”
“Fruit!” Artemis exclaimed. “Don’t you get it Hal? It’s fruit! Fucking Fruit!”
And she tossed her pistol aside. She wanted nothing to do with it.

Useless. This entire trip had been useless. She’d gone to Venus. Luna. Mars. She’d fought, killed, and nearly died. All for a year. All for this. All for nothing.
“Artemis…”
“You hate me,” she whispered. “I dragged you away for this.”
“Artemis, I don’t-”
“Non-human,” she sobbed. “Why am I here Hal? What’s this to me? Why do you even put up with me?”
“Artemis, I don’t ‘put up with you.’ You-”
“You hate me! You said it yourself!”
“I…” Hal trailed off.
“I’m sorry,” she murmured. “I led you to Europa. For this.”
“Well, y’know what they say…it’s the thought that counts.”
Artemis looked up at him. “Is that a Christmas platitude?”
“Could be.” The titan knelt down by her. “Don’t care. It’s a good lesson nonetheless.”
“And what’s the lesson here?”
“That treasure isn’t only glimmer.”
Artemis snorted. “That’s new, coming from you.”
“Call it a New Year’s resolution.”
Artemis sat there. Hal knelt there. Through the glass dome, she could hear the sound of the wind.
“You alright?” Hal asked her suddenly.
“Why would you ask?”

Hal sighed and got to his feet. Artemis looked up at him. She wanted to put on her helmet. She didn’t want him to see the tears.

“Artemis…what are you?”
What?
Hal put a hand on her arm and pointed it up to the dome’s roof.
“Look,” he said. “Look at the stars.”
“Hal, what-”
“Just look.”
Artemis did look. Stars looked back at her. One in particular. One brighter than the rest. One that looked like
“The sun?”
“Yeah. Home. Shining brightly. Like a star on top of the trees.”
Like a Christmas tree.
“Artemis, you were right to come here,” Hal said. “I mean, the fruit’s great and all. But that’s not important.”
“Then what is?”
“You came. That’s what’s important,” Hal said. “Here, on Europa…I see that now. You took us to the frontier. You discovered something…amazing. The moment you planned to take us to Europa, you were more human than any of us.”
“Is that a compliment?”
“It’s a reminder. Humans, Awoken, heck, even exos.” Hal pointed back at the star. “Earth’s our home. The Sol system’s our home. Europa is one of those homes.” He stood up, reaching for one of the fruits. He handed it to her. “And to the home owner go the spoils.”
Artemis held out a hand. The fruit hung there, red like an apple. Slowly, she took it. Slowly, she bit it. And slowly…slowly the tears stopped.
“Merry Christmas Artemis,” Hal said.
“Yeah…” the Awoken said. “Merry Christmas.”

Just a friendly reminder that there's approximately one week left to submit a story. So far we've got a few on the sillier side and a single, more serious piece, but there's still plenty of room for yours! My own story is about half done as well. I hope I make the deadline! :p

Also, prizes are firming up, meaning I walked all the way over to my closet and peeked inside. Potential prizes include:

- A Steam key for FTL
- A pristine copy of the Halo Graphic Novel
- A copy of Awakening: The Art of Halo 4
- A copy of Halo Wars Genesis
- An OMGXBOXHUGE copy of the Halo Encyclopedia
- A piece of paper with my signature on it (Might be worth millions someday!)
- And who knows what else I'll dig out of my closet approve as a prize!

I'm thinking the contest winner will get their pick from above, but I also reserve the right to give out prizes to runner ups as I see fit. If you have your eye on one of the above you should get writing and maybe you can win it! :)

A glimmer of hope

The glade was almost so silent that the only sound that one could distinguish was the sound of the two figures below the trees. The fairly spaced canopy of elm, ash and oak left only small gaps for the moonlight to peer through. In this time of great peril when Earth had been all but conquered and the races that bonded together under the traveller clung on for survival, there was still time for silence, contemplation and in the case of these two companionship. Even buried on the deep snows of winter, which now clung to the branches above them, the warm spirits of these two wanderers could not be chilled.
“It was here that I found you… Do you remember it? The time you nearly lost faith in the strength of the world?”
The words left Tarsonis’ throat with the same steady sureness that they always had, the cold wind clenching his throat did nothing to break his voice’s deep tones. His companion simply looked onwards, lost in memories both malicious and nostalgic. Her pale skin was unchanged by the cold. Silence had engulfed her and as she was clothed in the cold winds of winter she offered only a few words in response.
“Two years ago to the day and I was here, waiting for something.” She never turned to face him to say these words. Her eyes were searching the woods, slowly gazing over trunk and twig, looking for what she had never found.
“Do you remember what it was? You know you never told me.” She had never been so distant. She had both clung to him and struck out at life with her own independence and strength of will but she had never been so silent. It was unnerving and strange.
“Astrid?”
The word hung in the twilight with his misty breath, soon to fade into nothingness.
“I don’t know. But I know it wasn’t far.” This strange resolution to the sentence puzzled Tarsonis. The glade was vast and looked similar from all angles. But soon enough Astrid began to venture forward. Her soft steps crushing the snow topped leaf litter, each foot being placed as though trying to fill a footprint that someone else had left. Tarsonis was curious but he knew not to interrupt her search with another question. For her this search was something that bound meaning to her life, something that drove her to join him in the tower, to become a Warlock of the city.
They had come here now 2 years after he’d found her half dead from the cold harsh winds of the Scottish highlands that they now walked. 2 years after he’d scrambled to hide her from the Fallen who pursued her. He still remembered the day, scrambling under the foliage to hide them, clumsily administering adrenaline to his newfound companion, barely dodging the electric rapier of the Fallen captain and the deep roaring crack of the gun she fired that saved his life.
Astrid stopped as if having spotted a spot of black ice or a puddle. She crouched down examining the snow before lightly dusting away the upper layer, revealing the frozen ground and the grass that still held onto life. Her ghost Nymeria stuttered into life and lit the area revealing the one item that lay buried her. Tarsonis stooped and joined her, putting a single knee to the ground for stability.
At first he saw nothing, but then Tarsonis made out what was so important. A small stone talisman rested in the snow, smooth and cold to the touch. Astrid extended her delicate fingers and retrieved the trinket. It was held on a black string, which Astrid dangled below her hand.
“What is it?” Such a simple question, yet with so much relevance.
Now for the first time Astrid turned to Tarsonis. Her chestnut eyes found his for the first time in hours.
“Something from the past.” The statement floated in the air between the two of them for some time before Astrid decided to elaborate. “The day that you found me I was running from my home. The Fallen had killed my brother, his wife and their son. I was all that was left. I fell through the woods and as they chased me I lost the one thing I was able to take with me.”
Tarsonis’ eyes widened with the sudden realisation. This small smooth stone on a string was all that history had left to speak for Astrid’s old life, her home, her family and a generation lost to the invaders. This was all she had left of her past and it was little more than a pebble.
Almost instinctively Tarsonis reached out a hand and placed it on her shoulder, turning his head to face her. She knelt, still frozen and unmoved by the cold hand that he had extended.
“It’s strange really,” she said in a wistful and distant manner. “This is a Celtic knot. They were meant to represent magical protection.” She paused looking down at the carved lines on the stones. “It’s strange… I always wanted to become something special.”
Tarsonis replied in a quiet and deliberately soft voice.
“You already are. You survived the cold harsh winters here for 2 decades before I found you and not everyone is blessed by the Traveller.”
Her calm and almost lost face turned to him. The unfrozen salty tears had left her eyes but were accompanied by no sound or expression. They stood out and called to Tarsonis like something and out of place in a world of order and peace. He moved his hand from her shoulder to her cheek and wiped the tears from her expressionless face.
She was strong, stronger then anyone else he’d met, but still a sight like this prompted her to release the emotions that she so often choose not to reveal to the world. She turned back to the ground where the talisman had been found but her gaze latched onto something else in the distance. She stood and began to walk, gently pushing aside branches and bushes till she reached what she saw. Tarsonis followed in her wake and was surprised when he found that it was nothing more than a small clearing but it was set ablaze by an eerie light above.
They both gazed towards the sky and marvelled at the beautiful green lights of the aurora. They both lost the will to speak as they marvelled at the lights that flickered and danced in the sky, forming patterns and shapes with no meaning or design. Silence overwhelmed the two of them and as they watched they saw some proof that there was still life in this frozen waste.
There was a slight rumble and a series of small booms could be heard in the sky. Moments later several trailing comet like shapes appeared in the sky. They blazed with a deep fiery red and shone out against the green in the sky. It reminded Tarsonis of the colours of the tower. It was adorned with red and green in the celebration of the holidays. The warm feeling resonated between the two of them as they stood on and watched.
“How many are there?” asked Tarsonis in reference to the numerous streaks of red the cut like bloody claw marks through the sky. “13” Astrid replied softly in her same wistful, far away voice. To a child the 13 trails in the sky would’ve appeared to be the appearance of a sleigh pulled by a dozen reindeer. But Astrid and Tarsonis knew that this was something that brought more hope than a gift delivered every 365 days. These were the trails of fire teams Valiant, Mountain and Grizzly. The guardians were returning to the lands that had been lost by the city centuries ago. This was a reclamation effort. The guardians were returning home.
“What a gift…”
“It’s not just a gift,” said Astrid. “It’s hope.”
As he stood in the cold snows standing next to his dearest friend Tarsonis could do nothing more then render his silent agreement and watch blissfully as the lights continued to play in the skies above.